boring

Lying in bed, alone and struck with a headache, always back here again.. this is what I get for mistreating my body so much.

A horrible habit I have is my need to be alone, and yet have loving company with me all the time.
As soon as I feel a panic attack coming on I run to a corner (metaphorically speaking) where I know I can get the attention that i want. It’s horrible, i’m a bad person…. I only want people when I can’t handle or deal with myself… But as it turns out, that’s all the time.. like right now.
It’s almost like I like being on my own so i can long for someone? A contradiction I am aware…

Being really open but yet always hidden, it applies to everything.
This blog for example… it’s there, everyone can read it if they choose, but i’m still not writing exactly what I want. I’m telling the truth adn expressing how I feel, but I want to write down exactly everything, But common sense keeps telling me that\s not a very good idea.

The music, I want everyone to hear it, but I also don’t really want anyone to hear it.

writing this did take my mind of how intense my headache is right now. But as I write this I am now fully aware again. Maybe I was exposed to some form of radiation.
Or maybe there’s a leak.. and everyone in this building is going to die.
No one would even know…. I could see this happening

revision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,

revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsion,

revision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,

revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsion,

revision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsion

revision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsion

revision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsion

revision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsionrevision,revsion

i might go and eat…