Filed under: life
Lying in bed, alone and struck with a headache, always back here again.. this is what I get for mistreating my body so much.
A horrible habit I have is my need to be alone, and yet have loving company with me all the time.
As soon as I feel a panic attack coming on I run to a corner (metaphorically speaking) where I know I can get the attention that i want. It’s horrible, i’m a bad person…. I only want people when I can’t handle or deal with myself… But as it turns out, that’s all the time.. like right now.
It’s almost like I like being on my own so i can long for someone? A contradiction I am aware…
Being really open but yet always hidden, it applies to everything.
This blog for example… it’s there, everyone can read it if they choose, but i’m still not writing exactly what I want. I’m telling the truth adn expressing how I feel, but I want to write down exactly everything, But common sense keeps telling me that\s not a very good idea.
The music, I want everyone to hear it, but I also don’t really want anyone to hear it.
writing this did take my mind of how intense my headache is right now. But as I write this I am now fully aware again. Maybe I was exposed to some form of radiation.
Or maybe there’s a leak.. and everyone in this building is going to die.
No one would even know…. I could see this happening
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Hi! It’s Ellie P here (Best Friend lol)
I thought I’d have a look on MySpace since I’m hopefully gonna set up a page sometime soon. Your band sounds really cool. Yeah I thought there was going to be some music. Yeah I was gutted! Oh well!
Reading your blog I was like “Joe is not a bad person surely! He’s awesome!” Although to be fair I don’t actually know you that well. All I do know is that you know how to have fun with a pair of crutches! Ha! Ha! I laughed so hard at the randomness! Hob is like oblivious to everything!
I don’t want to delve too deeply into something that doesn’t have anything to do with me but when I read that bit about how you almost like being on your own so that you can long for someone I was like “Aaaawwwwww!!!!” Talk about slapping your feelings down for the whole world to see! But surely being with that ‘someone’ would feel better than longing for them? Why don’t you make them aware of it? What’s the worst that could happen?
Anyway, I’ll move on now. How did you find the Geography exam? It kind of sucks when you hear the invigilators say “You have 5 minutes left” when you still have a 10 mark mini essay to do but never mind. Talk about writer’s cramp.
Do you have any more exams to do after half term? Mine are over now (hallelujah). I don’t know what I’m gonna do for 2 weeks though!
Well I hope you have a good half term and stuff and that you aren’t too “That was weird! What was she rambling on about?” You see, this is what happens when no arrangements are made for Friday nights! I know I definitely won’t be sleeping in a bush tonight that’s for sure! Ha! Ha!
C ya later! xxx
P.S. Is that a photo from Vik in Iceland by the way?! And no I don’t think you are a moron!
Bye! xxx
Comment by Ellie May 25, 2007 @ 19:09hey ellie
Comment by alex September 17, 2009 @ 18:58