boring

i’m having trouble sleeping again, it’s not that i keep waking up during the night though. once i’m asleep i’m fine until the morning, it’s just getting to sleep… it’s taking me 3 hours. i don’t thik that’s normal. It might be. i don’t really know. perhaps i should look it up on the internet… House wouldn’t be too impressed, that’s for sure, he’d probably tell me to do more exercise or something stupid. what?!1? Everything seemed to fudge itself up a couple of weeks ago, and it’s still not sorted, but that is my fault. i need to make decisions, but i’m just rubbish at that. It’s not like i don’t know what i want though. i know exactly what i want to do, yet fro some reason it’s really troubling me. Maybe it’s because… i don’t know why…. well actually i have a few ideas why, but when i think about them properly they just seem silly and pointless and i don’t come any closer knowing why. is this making sense? i doubt it…. nothing is making sense. Then there’s this thing with my job, or lack there of. i’m owed a months wages, and as of yet i haven’t seen any of it. sort of. i did have the money for the best part of one morning. then it got taken away from me although apparently they were “unable to do that”. It’s just fucking added stress. To be honest i know i don’t have much to complain about, i mean things could be so much worse, i know that, it’s just it’s a big decision to make. Well it is now anyway. silly really when you think about, i have my whole life ahead of me and yet i feel i need to rush into this now, maybe it’s because everybody else is and it seems like the right thing to do. stupid way of thinking. 

i’m not really sure if i want to post this entry….